Let’s be real – the dating and dating scene, for gay guys, can be difficult. If you want a hookup or a casual thing, that’s not a problem – there’s plenty of that everywhere.
Things become difficult when you want to settle down and find real love. Or so you think. Maybe the problem is not finding real love, but all the wrong places you’ve been looking for it and the wrong approach you’ve had about it.
So, if you’re interested in the ins and outs of finding real love, take a look at our little guide.
1. Stop looking for real love in all the wrong places
Gay men tend to look for real love in all the wrong places. Take dating apps as an example. Dating apps are great for casual hookups and nothing serious. If you thought you’d find love there, you must be disappointed.
Instead, why don’t you switch your direction to more serious dating and matchmaking sites? These professional and serious gay dating sites, take their job seriously and can find you someone who you’re actually looking for.
And if you’re done with sites and apps for a while, then try looking for love the old-fashioned way – through friends of friends, gyms, sports groups, clubs, or bars.
2. Know what you want
Another tip we have for you is to finally figure out what you want and need. If you want love, if you want to finally settle down and start a family, you have to be sure about that. Because if you don’t figure it out, you’ll keep dating casually, hooking up, and just keep looking for someone to scratch your itch.
So, get your act together and once you do, be sure to tell people what you want but without being too desperate – which leads us to our following point.
3. Take time just dating
Finding your true love will take time. That’s why you should go on many dates, meet many men, and just take things slowly. Just dating guys will help you figure out what you’re looking for in a guy.
Some guys will be a hard pass, others will pique your interest, and the best way to figure all that out is by not rushing things. Slowing down will most definitely take the pressure off any relationship which in turn is exactly what you’re looking for.
4. Don’t settle
If you find yourself dating for a while, without much success, don’t give up and start settling. That’s the worst thing you could do.
Yes, dating will get exhausting and you may not find exactly what you’re looking for, but throwing in the towel and settling for the first guy that showed you more attention is not a solution.
Never, ever simply settle in love because you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, or disappointed. That never brought any good.
5. Be who you are and don’t hide your feelings
Yet another mistake many gay men tend to make is pretending to be who they’re not and while at it, hiding their feelings. If you want to find real love, you need to be unapologetically yourself.
The best way to be who you are is by relaxing and being comfortable in your skin. And you can achieve that by taking pressure off yourself. The same goes for hiding feelings. It’s never a good idea to hide your own feelings because hidden feelings tend to come out in the worst situations.
Be open and let your emotions free, say what you think and how you feel.
6. Don’t force anyone into a relationship and let them have their feelings
Don’t try to force or push anyone into a relationship. Forced relationships aren’t and will never be real love. Don’t think that you can change people, that they will grow to love you over time, or similar things.
Also, make sure you allow your partner to have their feelings. If you’re allowed to express your feelings, so should they be. Emotions can be overwhelming to many people, so make sure you also give them time and space to handle them.
That’s how serious relationships work. And if you can do that, you can hope for something more serious and long-term.
Finding real love is not a walk in the park everyone seems to think it is. Especially hopeless romantics. If you really want to find real love, you need to figure that out yourself, you need to start looking for it in the right places and you simply need to date – a lot. The purpose of dating is to find someone who can be your real love.
